But anyways... This was just too funny.
A patient came in and we needed to run tests on a stool sample. So, one of the other phlebotomists gave him the specimen container and explained the procedure to him, told him where the bathrooms are, etc. Then, this humorous exchange took place:
PATIENT: How much [stool] do you need?
PHLEBOTOMIST: As much as you can give us.
PATIENT: Well, I'm a very giving person.
We managed to hold in our snickering until he left the lab, but then we all cracked up! We imagined opening the pass box to find a specimen overflowing from the container, that had all smooshed out as he tried to close the lid...
It took us several minutes to regain our composure.